Good to be Grown

Tomato Salad with Grilled Salmon

The end of a perfect day in New York City. A frosty Italian beer and a vine tomato salad with grilled salmon, on the patio of a little place I stumbled upon near Penn Station. It was a table for one. I drank the beer and drank in the sunshine. I enjoyed my company. I love being grown.

The meal capped a very pleasant day that included a first-round  interview -- for a job in New York. I left there feeling pretty good -- about the interview, about myself. I had been worried going in because I had not done any mock interviews or practiced making up answers to the scary interview questions you know are coming.

A few days ago I was feeling pretty down about turning 56. I mean, it's  just four years away from 60.  After allowing myself several days of feeling like life as I knew it was over and staring in the mirror willing my waistline to return to its 40-year-old-self, I have embraced the light.  I'm happy  finally to be grown.

As in grown folks can do whatever they want to whenever  they want to, and feel no shame, no guilt and don't give a (insert expletive here) what anyone else thinks.

Today, I took the train to New York for the day -- the Acela roundtrip, because why not? I'm grown and comfort means more to me than, well pretty much everything.

A decade ago, I would have been way too concerned about spending my money. I would have taken the local to save a few dollars. I  never would have given myself permission to go anywhere just for a day.

Today, I have done exactly what I felt like doing and it feels divine.

Is it grown or just decadent to buy a new pair of shoes on the way to the interview and wear them out of the store?