2013 starts like 2012

"Bloom where you are planted."...Mary Engelbreit

It's kinda like the film "Ground Hog Day"-- the concept, not the comedy.

A year later, I find myself back in the same place where I was on this date in 2012 ... saddened by the deteriorating condition of a loved one and the heavy, hopeless feeling you get from not being able to do anything to help them.

Again, I find myself struck by the inability to find the words to express how I feel about the one who's struggling.
Again, I'm experiencing the deep sorrow of not knowing how to comfort others who share my sense of loss.

But in many ways,  after exactly 365 days of coping with what I'm sure will be the greatest loss I'll ever face, I'm better prepared to handle what lies ahead.

What have I learned in this past year?

• That you can't will away feelings
• That loss and the pain that comes with it is inevitable
• That it's okay to cry whenever you feel like it  
• That courage and living every day with purpose is admirable
• That every one's life touches someone
• That I want to be honest and accepting and hope that others will give me the same courtesy 
• That this is all there is -- we should make the most of it
• That one can't dwell on what might, should, could have been
• That one must accept what was for what it was
• That remembering the good times with that person will always bring you joy

I know. It's all sounds so  trite but these things bring me peace when I'm in need of comfort.
Until you've lived it, learned it, and repeated those things to yourself pretty much every day for awhile, it's impossible to know what the meaning. Now, I do.

I miss you mom and hope you are truly resting in peace.

I feel for you my dear friend and wish you strength and peace.